So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
