i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
