I want to walk on stilts...naked
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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