3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
