We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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