I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize