If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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