i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
