We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
