So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
