call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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