On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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