I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
