So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
