You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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