That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
