U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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