You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
