The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I will be naked everywhere
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
