what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
