ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize