You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Houston, we have a blender
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
