I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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