I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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