dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
