could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
