it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
