I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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