I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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