When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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