I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize