took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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