Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Say something about gay babies.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
