He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
