My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
it was like eating out sand paper
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize
