she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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