i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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