The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
