That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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