Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
