In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
