it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I am available for nakedness
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
