It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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