every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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