i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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