i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
...so i touched it.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
