she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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