Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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