Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
