hell yes lets make some ravioli
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
