Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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