someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
