wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
