Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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