we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you didnt know i had herpes?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
