I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
