people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
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We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
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I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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