if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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