I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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