And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
