We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
