he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
