ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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