thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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