No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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