I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
